Monday, January 7, 2008

Loot Whores...

So I'm in the LFG tool for Underbog questing around in Zangarmarsh. I have a comment posted on my LFG flag: "Ret spec, but I'll heal or tank too".

This proves beneficial, and I get a whisper from a Female Gnome Warrior. It's Umpathegreat of the guild "We Wipe on Trash".

Now I have never met this Umpathegreat, but she asks me, "What's ur spec?"

I respond, "Well, Ret, but y'know, I'm here to help, so I carry gear and will do whatever".

"You want to heal Underbog"?

In such a typical response, I reply, "All depends on how many other Paladins you got?"

"Lol why?"

"Well, I'll be happy to heal, but I've yet to meet another Ret Paladin on this server at my same level who can Out-DPS me [this is a fact, readers, I really haven't. Last run I went on I even out-DPS'd 2 Enhancement Shaman and a Hunter, no lie], so if you've got one, and they're lower level, you should have them heal instead, gear permitting".

Egotistical and ass-ish, but whatever. They need me to heal (everything I learned about healing I learned from Egotistical Priest and Road to the Dark Side, attitude included, blame them for corrupting me).

Umpathegreat responds "Well we don't have any Paladins yet!"

"Well okay then, I'm on my way!"

So I go join them in Underbog, rather, outside of it, I'm the first one there, the group is now full, I begin summoning at the stone, once I see Umpathegreat show up.

Our Underbog Group is composed as follows:
Tank: Umpathegreat our Gnome tank [Gnome warriors are an awesome novelty, by the way, maybe not in any game factor, but come on, they're Gnomes, and Warriors, that is funny it itself!],
DPS: Draenei Shaman(don't remember her name, she didn't talk much and does not contribute to this story)
DPS: Rogue (also, didn't talk much and does not contribute to this story)
DPS: Saynotopugs (Draenei Shaman) of the guild "We Wipe on Trash". Tank is his guildy, apparently.

Saynotopugs THIS is the asshat that this story will focus upon, and he will be the antagonist, as told by me.

Let me start off by explaining that there are 3 types of players that I absolutely despise, in order from most hated to least, they are as follows:

1. Ninja Looters - People who roll NEED on everything, most notoriously Bind-on-Pickup items that they cannot even equip.

2. Loot Whores - People who would rather recieve/roll on a Bind-on-Equip item for the explicit intent to sell it on the Auction House, rather than let a fellow partymate who helped earn it roll NEED who can and actually would equip it!

3. Gold Farmers/Sellers - If you don't know what a gold farmer is, you simply haven't been playing the game long enough. Selling virtual property in the game for real life money is just bad for the virtual economy, period. They are least hated on this list because I do not HAVE to purchase their gold, I can report them, and they do not impact my loot in any way.

Saynotopugs is a loot whore.

Saynotopugs is not where our story starts however. We are inside Underbog, I am buffing up and my partymates, I am also anxious and eager to heal. I happen to activate Devotion Aura. As I would not be tanking this particular run, this is for Umpathegreat's benefit, and our squishy DPSers. Umpathegreat corrects my choice of Aura by oh-so-professionally saying, "I'm way over-geared top tank this place, I have over 8k Armor. Retribution Aura would be better, lol!"

Just out of curiosity, I quickly click my tanking suit from my Outfitter mod and see that I too, have over 8k Armor in my tanking set. In fact, I have 8400-something armor, to be a bit more specific, unbuffed. And yes, I will typically tank with Retribution Aura on, as I need the holy damage shield to put out more aggro. It's just how tanking as a Paladin works, it's how we get and keep that aggro, through holy damage, on bosses, particularly melee'ing bosses, I will still make the switch to Devo Aura, just so I am a bit more armored for those thwacks. But here, this warrior, she wants Retribution Aura? But I digress...

She wants Retribution Aura (that will do all of a whopping 14 or so poitns damage with every hit, oooooooh boy, WTFPWNZ!), I ignore her and keep Devotion Aura up.

We kill the first few packs, and, anyone who's ever run Underbog knows that there is almost always a treasure chest near the entrance to the dungeon and off to the left, towards the water.

We clear our way there, someone loots the chest and lo and behold! It's a bright, shiny, Bind-on-equip Blue piece of INT & Healing plate! Hooray!

Girdle of Divine Blessing
Binds when equipped
Waist, Plate
573 Armor
+16 Stamina
+22 Intellect
Durability 45 / 45
Requires Level 65
Equip: Improves spell critical strike rating by 18 (0.8%).
Equip: Increases healing done by up to 48 and damage done by up to 16 for all magical spells and effects.

So, as I typically do in any PuG, I wait and watch all the rolls [I have a superstition that if I roll NEED on something, I'll be less likely somehow to have it NEEDed out from under me]. This is a fine, FINE piece of healing plate indeed, and I'm here playing healer, off of my spec, and this is totally an upgrade from the random green leather healing belt I was wearing.

So the rolls finish up, everyone GREEDed I'm the only NEEDer. Sure enough I get it. Then this genius Saynotopugs yells at me, "WTF man! Why did you NEED on that that?"

"Uhh... well... it's healing plate... I'm the only plate-wearer here who can cast healing spells... and I'm here healing for you, that a good enough reason?"

"Ya but it's BoE!"

"Yeah, it is bind on equip, so what, I'm equipping it, inspect me, see?"

Umpathegreat chimes in at this point, "Well you could've asked first..."

My reply to her, "Now why the hell would I ask your permission to upgrade my gear to something that no one else can wear while I'm healing here for you, it's healing plate, it can't help anyone else here? I'm the only one who can use it!"

Umpathegreat says no more, but Saynotopugs goes right back to tearing at me, "It can help us by selling!"

I am livid at this point, but I refrain from typing caps, "What the hell do you mean `help by selling'? I am here, healing for you so we can get a run down and get a shot at some loot."

"IT'S NOT EVN UR DAMN SPEC!" is Saynotopug's thought-provoking and eloquent reply.

"You're kidding me, right?"

"No! U should have GREEDed we could sell it!"

"Why the the hell would you sell something that I can use while I am here NOT playing my spec to help keep you and your party healed? If anything, I NEED this item MORE to heal you guys BETTER as I'm already gimped at healing with my offspec talents. And furthermore, how dare you even think of selling something that a player could use FOR A GEAR UPGRADE who is THERE, in the party WITH YOU! You are a selfish prick, your logic is flawed, and I am shocked and apalled that you would rather take a BoE item to the Auction House then let YOUR HEALER who is here out of the goodness of his heart to let YOU play your chosen talent spec while he can not play his, and he F*CKING NEEDS IT roll on it. Now... do you want me to heal for you or not?"

I didn't say shit for the rest of the run aside from "OOM" when I needed a drink.

I was tempted to hit my hearthstone right then and there, but despite this bullshit, the group was killing well, staying alive, and progressing quickly. Her guildmate may be an asshat, and she MAY have complained about an Aura that she didn't really need anyway, but Umpathegreat was tanking very well, and I had the gut feeling that there was more good Paladin loot on its way. So I stayed...

Then we got to Swamplord Muselek
.

So we efficiently kill the Swamplord, and again, lo and behold! He drops more Paladin gear! This one I had actually PLANNED on chasing down as an upgrade (hence why I was here in Underbog), whereas my Girdle of Divine Blessing was nothing more than random good luck (despite the drama which ensued over me getting it). This time, he drops...

Truth Bearer Shoulderguards
Binds when picked up
Shoulder, Plate
721 Armor
+14 Strength
+21 Stamina
+22 Intellect
Red Socket
Red Socket
Socket Bonus: +3 Spell Critical Strike Rating
Durability 80 / 80
Requires Level 63
Equip: Increases damage and healing done by magical spells and effects by up to 8.

I am surprised and excited, as I've had some degree of difficulty in getting these to drop, but I am taken back to my earlier good fortune with drops on this run... and I decide to give fair [smartass] warning this time, "Don't get pissed, but I'm going to NEED on those, just fair warning, don't want anyone to get all excited over me getting some Paladin loot".

Oh, Saynotopugs! How he makes me laugh! He conveniently and pleasantly responds to my obvious jab by saying, "Sure, go ahead, no one else can use them..."

I could not believe he'd left me such a blatant opening! I was shocked!

"You mean like the Healing Plate Belt from earlier? Are you going to the Exodar after this to train in Plate armor?"

"WE NEEDED THAT BY SELLING!!!!"

Yeah, whatever...

Anyway, we killed Bog Stalker on the first try. He dropped some blue dagger which (despite temptation), I did NOT roll NEED on, and then quickly hearthed out after that.

The End


P.S.
Saynotopugs is DEFINATELY a loot whore.

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